Does this "Make Sense?"

Wow I haven't posted since December...

I'm not sure if anyone out there is still logging into the post, but if you are, I wanted to give you all a quick update.

I'm getting married one week from tomorrow..whoa! So much of my time has been spent planning the wedding. It's hard to believe the Big Day is almost here and even harder to comprehend that I left for Ethiopia almost 1 year ago! Time really does fly by and I find myself reflecting on my time in Ethiopia often. Perhaps it's because it is fast approaching the one year mark, or perhaps it is because I have found out that some of my team members that I went with are going back to Africa this summer. Who knows, but either way, I can't wait to go back and blog all over again. :)

Some more news is that I will be moving to South Carolina in August. Michigan-->Arizona-->South Carolina; I'm like a regular ol' gypsy:) (I secrelty wish I was). With this big move leaves me the option to leave my current job or to stay...Let's face it, it's not like I've been too keen in my current work for quite some time and this is a great excuse to move. However, I am very apprehensive with the economy and it makes sense to stay because it means I have a job. However, even writing that statement "makes sense" is difficult to read.

Why must I always try to "make sense" of everything? I believe I spend more time trying to "make sense" rather than follow my instinct or heart because in reality it doesn't "make sense".

When do I stop trying to handle everything and hand it over to God? The few things that I have truly come to realize since I've been back from Ethiopia are as follows: How much I...
1) dislike my job
2) L-O-V-E blogging
3) Finding my true passions in life - which are DETAILS. I got a new camera over Christmas and I feel that I can actually capture what I see...which lead me to search blogs and to find inspiration out there. There is soooooo much out there that I have seen in the past few months that I can't help but me inspired to do more with my life.
I can't make it into a coherent sentence, but I know I can make a simple (and in humility) request to pray for me that I find what I am to be doing with my life...that the Lord will guide me toward His will, because there I will find my true passion and contentment.

Thank you and I hope all are well...

Much love,
Jen

Going, Going...Launched!

The Mocha Club has Launched their new Campaign - "I need Africa More than Africa Needs Me". If you want to read my thoughts on this concept, please see my last post from last week and I really encourage you to check out the Mocha Club's website - they have been my link to my experience in Africa.
Anyways, they have launched this new campaign and I wanted to clue you all in!

http://www.mochaclub.org/mochaclub/i_need_africa




I am so excited by the Mocha Club's new Campaign and I really feel like this new launch is something that is needed..."just say no" to the late-night depressing commercials and "just say yes" to spreading the word of what an awesome continent Africa really is! :)

Much love,
Jen

"I Need Africa More than Africa Needs Me"

I will go back to Africa again. I will visit Addis Ababa again.

I will go because I have to.

I have to go because I love it.

I love it because I adore the people.

I adore the people because they are real.

They are real because they have no pretense.

They have no pretense, which leads me to have no pretense.

Therefore:

Going to Africa = Me being myself

Or(to put all of that in a nutshell)...

"I Need Africa More than Africa Needs Me"

What a concept, huh?

This "concept" was presented to my team while we were in Ethiopia this past summer by the Mocha Club Director. This past week this concept was presented to me again and I was asked to blog about why I need Africa more than Africa needs me. I am still struck at how simple and, yet, complex this statement is.

There I was in Ethiopia being served by these people to their fullest capacity and I felt that I had nothing to give them in return. I was served in more ways than one; from the smallest of gestures of a girls' kiss on my cheek and whispering konjo in my ear (konjo means beautiful) to a street kid in Ambo cleaning the mudd off my shoe with a stick when he was barefoot himself. I was moved to tears by their kindness and also by the purity of our moment-in-time relationship.

This wasn't the Africa that was painted on those late-night commercials. I had seen "those" commercials. You know the ones I'm talking about. The commercials that always seem to wake you up after you have fallen asleep on the couch and you look up through sleepy eyes at a child with a pot belly and flies in their eyes staring back at you. It's depressing, to say the least. These images always seemed to make me feel helpless, hopeless, and ultimately pitiless because there are only so many times you can see those images and not become numb to them.

After returning from Africa, I wondered where the commercials were of the moments I lived while I was in Ethiopia. Why don't they show them laughing? Why don't they show them smiling? Why don't they show them even eating?!

I can't make a commercial, but I can write these blogs for you to a be witness to the change that has occurred in me. I can paint a picture in your mind of an Africa that you may have not seen before.

I yearn to be back in Ethiopia. I would love to be back in the bright orange tent at the Kachini Center dancing with the kids who never seemed to get enough of me doing the "robot" in the center of the bright orange tent.

I yearn to be back at Hannah's Orphange so I could visit with Kalkidan, a young woman who always greeted me by slipping her hand into mine from behind my back and only letting go when she had to give me a hug to say goodbye.

These are now the "commercials" that play in my mind. These are the "commercials" that wake me up in the middle of the night. They have changed me more than my blogs will ever be able to convey. This is the Ethiopia - the Africa - that I want you to know. This is the Ethiopia that I want you to see.

And, ultimately, I hope you see that I need Africa more than Africa needs me.


***If you have enjoyed following my blogs, then follow the Mocha Club because it is the real reason I went to Africa. For real, check it out! www.MochaClub.org It is a community based website where you can invite your friends to join you by giving $7 a month - the cost of two mochas- to a project of your choice.
It is a great organization made up of great people and I am so thankful to be a part of this group and I want you to be a part of it as well. If you would like to join my project of orphan care by donating $7 a month then please visit my link 'https://www.mochaclub.org/mochaclub/invitation/14159809008939d3adfc9dbc0cc73fe4'

Last, but not least:

****Share your thoughts in my comments, and even blog about it yourself. Join in the worthwhile cause of recasting the damaging images that force pity over partnership. Come back Dec 1st to see what Mocha Club is doing about reforming that image****

I look forward to what you all have to say...check in with you soon (December 1st)!

Much love,
Jen

My Purpose

The time between this blog and the last is a little embarassing. You would assume that having a life altering event occur in my life would stir up so much emotion that I would just have to write about it. However, it's been so life-changing that I can't even do much these days (besides work), which brings me to my next point: what am I do with my life?

I work for Target - that big national retailer that is usually in everyone's hometown with the big alluring bullseye that seems to draw millions of people to walk through its doors each day. It is often referred to as "the place I love to shop! I love it there!", by my friends or acquaintances when I tell people where I work. My usual response is, "yes, it's a fun place."

What am I talking about?!

I really don't think Target is "fun". I used to.

I used to love my job...l-o-v-e my job...I can't say that now, nor have I been able to say that for the past two years, however, the past two months have been the most difficult for me to walk into my job every day.

The other morning, before the store opened, I was walking the store and I passed the end of an aisle that was full of High School Musical Barbies and I was literally disgusted - sick to my stomache. I asked myself, "what am I doing here?!"

Please don't misunderstand me, Target does some great things for the community, and they sell a lot of "necessary items", but my heart isn't in Target and since coming back from Africa, It's been very difficult to go to a job that really is all about "revenue" (and sells High School Musical Barbies):)

All this ranting and raving isn't going to do much, I understand, however, I am feeling this way because my heart isn't in Target - I am not fulfilling my purpose.

I believe so many of us believe that life is like this - we go to jobs we actually "hate" and go through the motions because it's just a job, and we are ok with this.

Why?

I believe it's our scapegoat to not accepting all that God has designed us to be.

I was emailing one of my team mates from Africa last month and we were going back and forth about our situations at work and in one of his emails I could tell that he really wanted to move to Africa, but that it isn't practical because he has a daughter, but even if he doesn't go to Africa, he stated he really didn't want to work at the same job anymore.

I believe in him - I believe that there is more to his life than what he is doing - I believe this because he admitted it - he is feeling "it" - it being something more out there.

But what is he doing about it?

What am I doing about it?

I think I still put on the red and khaki every day because just leaving my job isn't practical. I've been battling with this "being practical" thing for a while now. I find it so ironic when all I read in the bible are people that were the complete opposite - John the Baptist, Moses, King Jehu, Abraham, and the list goes on. But we know they were following God and never say "geez, that sure wasn't practical for Moses to leave". We don't say this because they were standing up and moving toward something greater than themselves - God!

This is the battle I fight today - I almost quit my job one week ago. I literally, just about put my two week notice in with no other job lined up. I didn't do it because I was too scared to. Too scared to step out of the boat - too scared to trust that God has everything under control.

I have been in a comfortable spot for too long and I believe that I let my job give me a false sense of security with money, my development with the company, my savings, etc. But, as you can tell, it's given me nothing because I am still unhappy.

As I sit here on the couch drinking a cup o' joe, I can't help but think that the people in Ethiopia that I met along the way seem to be in a better place than I am in right now. Sometimes to have less is to have more...

So, this is where I am at right now. This trip to Africa has really thrown me for a loop and right now I am asking you for your prayers that I may be blessed with the knowledge of knowing the things that my Father has called me to do and that I will be able to carry out God's work with honor, peace and joy.

I pray for you as well...I pray that you will be blessed with the knowledge of your purpose and that you will be everything that God designed you to be...

James and Surafel Know Their Stuff!

This is a picture of Surafel and me. Surafel is attempting to take off my hat, which was a definite no-go for me since we hadn't had running water for 2 days and my hair was in that hat for a reason! ha!

I love this picture, though, because it is a great reminder of how fun my time was with him.

Surafel (pronounced Sir-awful) was our translator during our entire time in Ethiopia. He is 20-years-old and speaks fluent English. He has never left his country of Ethiopia, nor did he really express any real interest in leaving - he loves his country. Surafel is currently in school and he was approached by the Mocha Club Director, Barrett Ward, to be the translator for all of the teams that would be visiting Ethiopia over the summer. He accepted and I can't imagine my time in Ethiopia without him.

I could never sit next to him over breakfast or dinner without breaking into laughter. I loved his humor because he was sarcastic and quick-witted; we got along quite well in that arena:)

Beyond his humor, he is smart, well beyond his years. His street sense is unmatched and it is amazing for me to think that he is considered a "nerd" by the locals because he is a Christian and translates for foreigners when they comes - aka "faringis".

His mother has passed away and his father, if I remember correctly, is still alive but he has never met him. He too is a orphan and the children love him! I found myself watching him while we were at Kachini, or Hannah's (another orphanage in Addis). He is a complete natural around the children and they gravitate toward him...or maybe it's the other way around:) He is someone I look up to and he is someone that truly is an example of faith in action.

I think of Surafel often. Mostly I think about what he said one day as we sat in the guest house waiting for our day to begin. We were sitting side-by-side on the couch when I reached into my bag and pulled out my journal. I asked him for his address and email address. As he took my pen and began to write in my journal, I stated to him, "I know you have no intention to visit the United States, but if you ever do, you have a place to stay with me."

I really meant it. I didn't say it to anyone else while we were there and I didn't give anyone else my information. But what he said to me, stuck with me. Surafel replied back to my offer, "Do you know how many times I've heard that and I've never heard back from anyone."

Wow

Empty promises...

What amazed me the most is that he continued to write down his information without hesitation. That was a true testament of itself for if I had been told numerous times that exact same thing, I wouldn't be writing down any of my personal information due to the fact that I wouldn't be contacted.

I believe I have a great responsibility in this world to build relaionships. It was something that I lack in my life and you can read about in my blogs that I've been positing since April. I need to slow down in my life and listen to people, build relationships with people...

I can go on all the "right" trips and volunteer my time with local organizations, but if I don't act on my faith that says to "love one another" and it is not accompanied by action, then my faith is dead.

Surafel understands this...that is why he will continue to write down his address and his email address for those who ask because his actions reflect his faith. He has faith in God and that faith in God keeps him grounded to not be so bothered by the fact that sometimes people will hand out empty promises.

My favorite book in the bible is James; full of the vital basics of Christianity delivered in a simple and direct way. James is mainly focused on faith and deeds. I read from James Chapter 2 this morning and I was reminded that there are two types of people.

Those that have faith.

And those that have deeds.

We can't live by faith without taking any action. And we can't take action without having faith...

I believe the actions that I need to take in my life are connecting with people...really building relationships with those around me. It is when I feel most like myself and when I truly feel that I am living out my faith.

Surafel and James seem to get it and watching Surafel live out his faith by connecting with the people was a true testament that someone's faith is made complete by what he does...not by faith alone.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must write an email to Surafel and tell him just that...

James 2:24 "You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone."

Imagine

Today I plugged my earbuds into my ears and pressed "play" on my Ipod. The song that played was Jack Johnson's version to "Imagine".
I always thought this song was "nice" before I went to Africa.
I find it so powerful now.
I find it to be a real wish of mine for the people of Africa.
Upon hearing this song today, I was brought back to the drive back to Addis Ababa from Ambo. It was a cloudy day, about 60 degrees, light rain. I felt the weather reflected my feelings on leaving Ambo. I had such a great time in Ambo with the people at the church and working with the Street Kids was such a life-changing experience that I found it bittersweet to be leaving these people, yet I looked forward to going back to Addis and seeing the children that we had spent time with on our first day at Kachini.
With my Ipod plugged into my ears and the music blaring, our bus began our journey back to Addis, but first, we were going to see a waterfall that was just north of Addis. Sammy (our personal bus driver, who I secretly had a crush on...ha, kidding!) safely (barely) navigated through the roads up to the top of a mountain and pulled off to the side so we could get out and look out at this beautiful land.
The view took my breath away...
The land was so green and the fields lay like a patchwork quilt and dirt paths zig-zagged the fields. This is the point that it really hit me that we were in Ethiopia! This country is so beautiful and unique. I tried to soak in the moment and journal about it immediately in order to remember that moment. Here's what I had to say:
"I am such an ignorant person. I thought Africa would be hot, dusty, and filled with giraffes and elephants. However, I have yet to feel the temp rise above 70, I haven't seen an elephant nor a tiger or lion, and sometimes I wish there was dust because it would mean that there wasn't so much mud to maneuever around while walking along the street or to a restaurant. I just got done viewing the land surrounding Ambo at about 9,000 feet and I felt like I was on top of the world...I wish that everyone and anyone could see Africa in this way and want to take a stand and do something...anything..."
My team and I climbed back into our bus (aka "death-mobile" since Sammy is an absolute maniac driver) and drove down to see the waterfall. The guard to the entrance of the waterfall took one step on the bus and saw a bus full of white people (faringi's as they call us) and rambled off some ridiculous price to see the waterfall.
***It is imperative not to give the locals whatever price they ramble off since they usually won't make any other deals for the day with other locals and will normally raise the price on items that the locals can't afford, since they already made enough money for the day because "faringis" have paid the highest price.****
We skipped the waterfall and made our way back to Addis. This is when I heard the song "Imagine" on my Ipod. It was a perfect backdrop to the drive. Our bus pulled over at one point during the drive to let another bus pass us on the one-lane road. Our bus had stopped in front of a small hut and there were three children standing in the doorway. The oldest girl stepped out and came toward the bus and smiled at us. The other two children slowly crept out behind the girl. As I stared back at these children, the lyrics blared in my ears, "you may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope one day that you will join us..."
It's true...
I was in a bus filled with people that felt the same way that I did about Africa and there were more to follow my team, and the team after them, and it goes on and on...
My team and I were so moved during our first four days, especially with the Street Kids, that we asked Barrett Ward (Mocha Club Director) what we could do to help them. His explanation helped me understand how important it is to not go in and "save" people without getting to know the community, the people, and complete the work that was first started.
While the Mocha Club would like to pursue the Street Children more in the future, they need to first finish building the school in Ambo that they have started. If you would like to assist in building this school, it will cost you $7.00/month...that's it!! To join the funding for the Ambo School project, click http://mochaclub.org/joinme/brward/12

If you don't wish to, I understand, and "you may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one..."

Just imagine...


**The picture is me looking down at our view that day outside of Ambo**

I Feel Good

I passed a homeless man today. He was holding a sign up that read "will work for food, shelter or $. I'll watch your dog." He was sitting cross-legged on the corner of a busy intersection. I pulled up next to him and looked at him. He looked up at me and I smiled. He smiled back. I instantly began wondering why he became homeless. Is it merely a choice because he wanted to? He had to? What was his name? Where was his family? Where was he from? Was he honest with his note on his sign?

But what I really began to think about were the Street Kids in Ambo. This is a picture of them eating the lunch that we served them that afternoon of our third day in Ethiopia.

There were about 60 of them; all young men between the ages of 8-17-years-old. They were homeless. Kicked out of their homes due to lack of food/money or for other various reasons. These boys became each other's family and took care of one another.

We spent that day with them and after eating lunch we hit the soccer field. A soccer field that was mud - thick, sticky mud. After running down the field and slipping nearly 10 times, I was done and made my way to the sidelines. I attempted to scrape the 10 pounds of mud that had engulfed by shoes when a young boy came up to me and motioned for my foot. He then took out a tool and began to scrape the mud off of my shoes. I looked down at this young boy and noticed that he was barefoot himself.

How is this possible? How could he be a servant in that moment? He had nothing, but he gave me everything he had. My eyes began to water and I had to look away in fear that my tears would swell and spill out of my eyes. What a beautiful portrait to see this boy caring for me in such a way and then to look in front of me and seeing another young boy doing the same for another one of my team members.

What an example they demonstrated...selflessness...servanthood...caretaker...innocence...

These were real people...real stories...real lives...real hearts...real names...
They were so real and I felt so...fake!

I felt so good that day because they were so real. The more real they were, the more real and alive I became. I felt convicted by my superficial and judgmental ways of living. It was so easy that day to be myself because I let my judgments go...

It is much easier to just enjoy people for who they are, rather than for what they are.

That is why I loved that day in Ambo...I saw them for who they really are...beautiful and genuine. I see them how God wants me to see people. He sees their soul and I only wish that every day could be like that. How great would it be if we could walk around and see people's character/soul on the outside just like a physical characteristic? It really is freeing...refreshing...stimulating...I felt good (to put it simply).

Felt good is past tense. I should put it in present tense - I feel good.

I didn't feel good before I left for Africa. I worried about the trivial things and I cared a lot about what I had that defined me. The Street Kids saw me for who I really was and it allowed me to do the same for others.

That is why I smiled at the man today holding the cardboard sign. I smiled because I was reminded to see that man for who he was...not a "homeless" man, but just a man that has a name...that has a life...that has a story...and, to be honest, it made me feel good to judge less and love a little bit more...