"I Need Africa More than Africa Needs Me"

I will go back to Africa again. I will visit Addis Ababa again.

I will go because I have to.

I have to go because I love it.

I love it because I adore the people.

I adore the people because they are real.

They are real because they have no pretense.

They have no pretense, which leads me to have no pretense.

Therefore:

Going to Africa = Me being myself

Or(to put all of that in a nutshell)...

"I Need Africa More than Africa Needs Me"

What a concept, huh?

This "concept" was presented to my team while we were in Ethiopia this past summer by the Mocha Club Director. This past week this concept was presented to me again and I was asked to blog about why I need Africa more than Africa needs me. I am still struck at how simple and, yet, complex this statement is.

There I was in Ethiopia being served by these people to their fullest capacity and I felt that I had nothing to give them in return. I was served in more ways than one; from the smallest of gestures of a girls' kiss on my cheek and whispering konjo in my ear (konjo means beautiful) to a street kid in Ambo cleaning the mudd off my shoe with a stick when he was barefoot himself. I was moved to tears by their kindness and also by the purity of our moment-in-time relationship.

This wasn't the Africa that was painted on those late-night commercials. I had seen "those" commercials. You know the ones I'm talking about. The commercials that always seem to wake you up after you have fallen asleep on the couch and you look up through sleepy eyes at a child with a pot belly and flies in their eyes staring back at you. It's depressing, to say the least. These images always seemed to make me feel helpless, hopeless, and ultimately pitiless because there are only so many times you can see those images and not become numb to them.

After returning from Africa, I wondered where the commercials were of the moments I lived while I was in Ethiopia. Why don't they show them laughing? Why don't they show them smiling? Why don't they show them even eating?!

I can't make a commercial, but I can write these blogs for you to a be witness to the change that has occurred in me. I can paint a picture in your mind of an Africa that you may have not seen before.

I yearn to be back in Ethiopia. I would love to be back in the bright orange tent at the Kachini Center dancing with the kids who never seemed to get enough of me doing the "robot" in the center of the bright orange tent.

I yearn to be back at Hannah's Orphange so I could visit with Kalkidan, a young woman who always greeted me by slipping her hand into mine from behind my back and only letting go when she had to give me a hug to say goodbye.

These are now the "commercials" that play in my mind. These are the "commercials" that wake me up in the middle of the night. They have changed me more than my blogs will ever be able to convey. This is the Ethiopia - the Africa - that I want you to know. This is the Ethiopia that I want you to see.

And, ultimately, I hope you see that I need Africa more than Africa needs me.


***If you have enjoyed following my blogs, then follow the Mocha Club because it is the real reason I went to Africa. For real, check it out! www.MochaClub.org It is a community based website where you can invite your friends to join you by giving $7 a month - the cost of two mochas- to a project of your choice.
It is a great organization made up of great people and I am so thankful to be a part of this group and I want you to be a part of it as well. If you would like to join my project of orphan care by donating $7 a month then please visit my link 'https://www.mochaclub.org/mochaclub/invitation/14159809008939d3adfc9dbc0cc73fe4'

Last, but not least:

****Share your thoughts in my comments, and even blog about it yourself. Join in the worthwhile cause of recasting the damaging images that force pity over partnership. Come back Dec 1st to see what Mocha Club is doing about reforming that image****

I look forward to what you all have to say...check in with you soon (December 1st)!

Much love,
Jen

My Purpose

The time between this blog and the last is a little embarassing. You would assume that having a life altering event occur in my life would stir up so much emotion that I would just have to write about it. However, it's been so life-changing that I can't even do much these days (besides work), which brings me to my next point: what am I do with my life?

I work for Target - that big national retailer that is usually in everyone's hometown with the big alluring bullseye that seems to draw millions of people to walk through its doors each day. It is often referred to as "the place I love to shop! I love it there!", by my friends or acquaintances when I tell people where I work. My usual response is, "yes, it's a fun place."

What am I talking about?!

I really don't think Target is "fun". I used to.

I used to love my job...l-o-v-e my job...I can't say that now, nor have I been able to say that for the past two years, however, the past two months have been the most difficult for me to walk into my job every day.

The other morning, before the store opened, I was walking the store and I passed the end of an aisle that was full of High School Musical Barbies and I was literally disgusted - sick to my stomache. I asked myself, "what am I doing here?!"

Please don't misunderstand me, Target does some great things for the community, and they sell a lot of "necessary items", but my heart isn't in Target and since coming back from Africa, It's been very difficult to go to a job that really is all about "revenue" (and sells High School Musical Barbies):)

All this ranting and raving isn't going to do much, I understand, however, I am feeling this way because my heart isn't in Target - I am not fulfilling my purpose.

I believe so many of us believe that life is like this - we go to jobs we actually "hate" and go through the motions because it's just a job, and we are ok with this.

Why?

I believe it's our scapegoat to not accepting all that God has designed us to be.

I was emailing one of my team mates from Africa last month and we were going back and forth about our situations at work and in one of his emails I could tell that he really wanted to move to Africa, but that it isn't practical because he has a daughter, but even if he doesn't go to Africa, he stated he really didn't want to work at the same job anymore.

I believe in him - I believe that there is more to his life than what he is doing - I believe this because he admitted it - he is feeling "it" - it being something more out there.

But what is he doing about it?

What am I doing about it?

I think I still put on the red and khaki every day because just leaving my job isn't practical. I've been battling with this "being practical" thing for a while now. I find it so ironic when all I read in the bible are people that were the complete opposite - John the Baptist, Moses, King Jehu, Abraham, and the list goes on. But we know they were following God and never say "geez, that sure wasn't practical for Moses to leave". We don't say this because they were standing up and moving toward something greater than themselves - God!

This is the battle I fight today - I almost quit my job one week ago. I literally, just about put my two week notice in with no other job lined up. I didn't do it because I was too scared to. Too scared to step out of the boat - too scared to trust that God has everything under control.

I have been in a comfortable spot for too long and I believe that I let my job give me a false sense of security with money, my development with the company, my savings, etc. But, as you can tell, it's given me nothing because I am still unhappy.

As I sit here on the couch drinking a cup o' joe, I can't help but think that the people in Ethiopia that I met along the way seem to be in a better place than I am in right now. Sometimes to have less is to have more...

So, this is where I am at right now. This trip to Africa has really thrown me for a loop and right now I am asking you for your prayers that I may be blessed with the knowledge of knowing the things that my Father has called me to do and that I will be able to carry out God's work with honor, peace and joy.

I pray for you as well...I pray that you will be blessed with the knowledge of your purpose and that you will be everything that God designed you to be...