Who am I to judge?

We were on our bi-weekly conference call, my short term mission group, and our leader asked how our fundraising was going for the trip. A few of my team members explained their frustrations or worries and we all listened and I really felt blessed to not necessarily have to worry about the money aspect, however, I felt an overwhelming presence of God as I sat in the dark of my bedroom and looked out the window. I tried to listen to what my team was saying on the other end, but instead I was wrestling with God. "No, God, I don't want to admit that. I don't want to confess that...it's humiliating." The phone line quieted for a moment and our leader once again asked if anyone else had any comments or concerns. Before I could stop myself, I said it, "It's really not the money for me, but the fact that God has put me in the exact same position of those I had judged. You see, anytime someone from the church or a family friend, would send something in the mail in regards to a mission or fundraising to a Christian school I judged them. It would bother me that they would think of sending us a letter when I knew they had the money or I would really wonder what they were going to do 'somewhere out there'. God has a funny way of humbling us and, for me, he taught me a lesson by putting me in the exact position of those I judged. God is a sort of a comedian, a humbling comedian."
I had said "it"...I had gotten it off my chest. I felt a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. I had admitted it...I had judged.
It's still very hard to write those words. God is teaching me a lesson through this. I continue to face situations where I could, or can, so easily judge others around me, and I continue to go back to this moment...I don't want to say that I never judge or that I don't slip up, but I am more conscious of those times that I do. What is more amazing is how much this experience draws me closer to God. How true it is, that every bad situation can bring glory to God...
I write this blog to you. I have judged you, I nitpicked, I judged your motives, and I am truly sorry. I am humbled to my soul by this experience and I ask you for forgiveness. I thank you for reading my blog, supporting me financially, supporting me spiritually, and for accepting me...wow, God truly is awe-some!