Plain and Simple

This week I have been thinking back to my interview over the phone with Geoffrey (mission leader) this past January. Geoffrey was asking me pretty routine questions and I will never forget how I
felt when he asked me, "why do you want to go on a mission trip?"
What a great question, right? Why...why...???
My response:
"Wow! What a great question (ha...I really said that...I'm a dork). Well, I've been searching for trips to Africa for the past 4 months and every search came up fruitless, until I received an email from you in December. I haven't had this raw desire to go on a mission trip, well, not at least like this. This desire is not only in missions, but in talking to every homeless person I pass or to volunteer here in Tucson. My life, for the past 3 years, has been work, my job. I feel most like myself lately, or I feel closest to God, when I am giving and loving others. God is changing my heart, I feel it, and going to Africa would only be a reflection of this change in my heart."

This past week has been difficult for me.
I haven't been praying for my trip to Africa...I don't know what to talk to God about.
I have too many expectations.
I have to continue to do a daily check to make sure my intentions are true. However, like I said, I haven't done that because I've been thinking about what it's going to be like during my mission.
Please pray that my intentions are to be after God's heart...that I have the heart to serve.
I don't want to have expectations of this trip. Sometimes I feel like I'm sinking from the weight of my own world...my own expectations...I feel like I'm disconnected from the trip...I have left God out and have put my own intentions into play...

What were my intentions when I interviewed in January? I wanted to love others, to show God's love...nothing more...raw...pure...honest...
That is why a daily check of what my intentions are is imperative. I don't want to be going in blind, but I want my motive to still be as simple in July when I leave as it was in January when I was interviewing with Geoffrey.

It's plain and simple...I want to serve others. Why then, if I say it's so "plain and simple", does it seem to be so "obscure and complicated?"